There are things that
I struggled with in Honduras this year … things that I saw or
heard about, experiences that frustrated me, questions that arose in my mind. I know that no amount of medicine, clean water, cement floors or better living conditions is going to provide any of us entry into God's heavenly kingdom. There (heaven) is so much better than here ... yet I am so hung up on the "here" that I begin to question whether or not I truly have a grasp on my own salvation. For the Hondurans and other people like them, I just want them to have a better life. I struggle with the images of their environment.
In trying to get a grasp of my emotions since being in Honduras this year and to better understand the condition of the country, I did what all wise people do … I “GOOGLED” Honduras ... I mean, what do I really know about Honduras anyway? I thought I knew a lot but my knowledge of Honduras has barely scratched the surface. Teammembers say they “fall in love with Honduras”, “leave their hearts in Honduras”, “can’t wait to go back” … I would like to ask, “what exactly is it that has made you so love-struck about Honduras, … a country that is infested with violence, drugs, poverty and garbage?”
And I feel guilty when I say, "it's only temporary" because I don't know what it's like to live the life they're living. After I tell them, "take heart, have hope ... this is only temporary ... one day, you'll be with Jesus in heaven and the difficulties of this life will be no more" ... then I go home to my convenient, comfortable and relatively safe life.
In trying to get a grasp of my emotions since being in Honduras this year and to better understand the condition of the country, I did what all wise people do … I “GOOGLED” Honduras ... I mean, what do I really know about Honduras anyway? I thought I knew a lot but my knowledge of Honduras has barely scratched the surface. Teammembers say they “fall in love with Honduras”, “leave their hearts in Honduras”, “can’t wait to go back” … I would like to ask, “what exactly is it that has made you so love-struck about Honduras, … a country that is infested with violence, drugs, poverty and garbage?”
I was reminded recently during a sermon by our pastor, who is also a fellow teammate, what it's
like in Honduras when it starts to get dark. When the sun is nearly set, the
sounds of darkness begin. In the distance, gunshots ring out, some closer
than others ... and the barking of dogs, ... deep, throaty, growling and barking like
I've never heard before ... at night, the sounds I
heard the dogs make gave me an idea of what the night people must be like.
I’ve always been the
type of person to humanize animals, especially dogs … it’s just the way I
am. There were several incidents that I witnessed while in Honduras
involving dogs and while most may not have even gave it a thought, I was deeply
bothered. To me, the dogs were a
reflection of the people …
(image found via google search)
(image found via google search)
...the one laying rigid under a park bench, looking
almost as if it was dead, ... maybe it was …
(image found via google search)
(image found via google search)
...the one running down the middle of the
road with our bus quickly approaching from behind ... it refused to move out of
the way! It just ran faster and faster while looking behind to see if we were
still approaching yet not changing its course. The only reason we did not hit it is because the road we were travelling curved to the right while the dog was able to continue its fixed direction onto a side road.
(image found via google search)
(image found via google search)
...the pack of three dogs
chasing a fourth, ... the one being chased, running as if it was running for its
life, looking behind to see if it was still being chased and then finally being
cornered with nowhere else to run (our bus then moved beyond the view of
that scene so I don’t know what became of the dogs) …
(image found via google search)
(image found via google search)
Through those dogs, I saw
the people, ... struggling to survive, ... tiring under the pressure to succumb, ... on the
wrong path but too stubborn to move or just so used to running, ... barely hanging on to existence.
It is typical to see
dogs searching for food amongst the piles of trash and a few times, we even
witnessed people looking amongst the heaps.
My husband actually watched a rummaging woman come upon a paper bag of
what may have been leftover food. She
opened the bag and smelled what was inside before crumpling the bag and adding
it to the rest of her things.
Augustin, one of the
WGO staff, told us a story about a 7-year-old boy working at a dump because his
father had been injured. Instead of
going to school, the boy would go to do the work that his father was unable to
do. When Augustin told the story, his
eyes welled with tears but I didn’t really understand; I had no idea what this
really meant and what a “dump” really looked like.
I’m sorry, Augustin, …
I truly had no idea. In my "Google" searches, I came across dozens of stories and photos relating to the garbage dumps and the people, many children included, who work, scrounge and even live among them.
(image found via google search)
(photo: Patrick Farrell/Miami Herald)
Another tender topic that I struggled with is "Water".
In Honduras, and many other countries, water is a rare and precious commodity, a luxury of sorts. The people there will likely go unbathed/unshowered because most do not have a well let alone plumbing or running water; if they do have water, it is undrinkable and never warm.
During our week of Brigade, Brian and I each had a day where we took the role of "floater", which basically means what it sounds like ... we "floated" around, checking on our teammates and ministry stations and ensuring that everything was running smoothly. One of the tasks that was associated with being a "floater" is to go around to the various team members with a portable water cooler ensuring that everyone was staying hydrated ... everyone that is, except for the Honduran people who were there seeking our help.
As we would walk around with our portable cooler and our package of small plastic cups, asking our teammates if they needed any water, Honduran citizens waiting in lines or groups would call out to us ... some even by name as they could see our name tags ... "Agua, por favor?" Even children would approach us holding out their hands, asking for just a small amount of water. Brian and I did not anticipate this and it exposed a very raw nerve within us. I knew that we did not physically have enough water with us to provide for the team, the WGO staff, the church workers and the hundreds of Honduran men, women and children who were there. "Lo siento," I would say. I'm sorry, ... there is not enough.
I wonder now ... (only just now, 3-4 weeks after I started working on this post) if only I would have had the faith of a mustard seed, absolute trust in my Savior and LORD, Jesus ... if I could have offered every single one of those Hondurans a simple cup of water and still have water left over ... I didn't think of it that day but certainly, had I prayed and believed, I may have witnessed Jesus "feeding the multitudes" just as He had done with only a few fish and loaves of bread.
I'm sorry, LORD, ... even while I served in Your Name, I did not realize until this very moment that I was not solely relying on You. Even as I am typing this, I am enlightened to the fact that the issue with the water has likely caused me such unrest because it is something that I tried to do on my own. Yet ALL that I do, each and every day, should belong to You ...
... Commit to the LORD whatever you do and your plans will succeed ... (Proverbs 16:3)
I wonder how often in my day I do NOT commit to the LORD what I am doing and how often my disappointment in the results of my efforts is because I am full of doubt and not fully trusting that God is standing by ... eager to rescue and restore when the white flag has been thrown.
In even the smallest details, help me LORD, to commit to You whatever I do and help us to know how you would have us further help the people of Honduras and those throughout the world living in similar poverty.
(image found via google search)
I believe that most of you reading this are like me ... I can take a shower for 15 minutes without worry of the water going tepid.
(image found via google search)
I like my drinking water cold so I let the faucet run for 15 seconds or more before filling my glass.
(image found via google search)
Sometimes, I even let the water run while I am brushing my teeth and then put my mouth to the water to rinse or drink with no concern whatsoever.
(image found via google search)
How many of us take advantage of the water we have access to everyday? I am pretty confident that the honest answer for virtually all of us is “virtually all of us.” We have so much … TOO MUCH EVEN … and we often have the audacity to WANT MORE. In Honduras, and many other countries, water is a rare and precious commodity, a luxury of sorts. The people there will likely go unbathed/unshowered because most do not have a well let alone plumbing or running water; if they do have water, it is undrinkable and never warm.
During our week of Brigade, Brian and I each had a day where we took the role of "floater", which basically means what it sounds like ... we "floated" around, checking on our teammates and ministry stations and ensuring that everything was running smoothly. One of the tasks that was associated with being a "floater" is to go around to the various team members with a portable water cooler ensuring that everyone was staying hydrated ... everyone that is, except for the Honduran people who were there seeking our help.
(image found via google search)
As we would walk around with our portable cooler and our package of small plastic cups, asking our teammates if they needed any water, Honduran citizens waiting in lines or groups would call out to us ... some even by name as they could see our name tags ... "Agua, por favor?" Even children would approach us holding out their hands, asking for just a small amount of water. Brian and I did not anticipate this and it exposed a very raw nerve within us. I knew that we did not physically have enough water with us to provide for the team, the WGO staff, the church workers and the hundreds of Honduran men, women and children who were there. "Lo siento," I would say. I'm sorry, ... there is not enough.
I wonder now ... (only just now, 3-4 weeks after I started working on this post) if only I would have had the faith of a mustard seed, absolute trust in my Savior and LORD, Jesus ... if I could have offered every single one of those Hondurans a simple cup of water and still have water left over ... I didn't think of it that day but certainly, had I prayed and believed, I may have witnessed Jesus "feeding the multitudes" just as He had done with only a few fish and loaves of bread.
I'm sorry, LORD, ... even while I served in Your Name, I did not realize until this very moment that I was not solely relying on You. Even as I am typing this, I am enlightened to the fact that the issue with the water has likely caused me such unrest because it is something that I tried to do on my own. Yet ALL that I do, each and every day, should belong to You ...
... Commit to the LORD whatever you do and your plans will succeed ... (Proverbs 16:3)
I wonder how often in my day I do NOT commit to the LORD what I am doing and how often my disappointment in the results of my efforts is because I am full of doubt and not fully trusting that God is standing by ... eager to rescue and restore when the white flag has been thrown.
In even the smallest details, help me LORD, to commit to You whatever I do and help us to know how you would have us further help the people of Honduras and those throughout the world living in similar poverty.
(image found via google search)
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