WRITTen SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 7, 2010
Me and my treadmill ... (to God be the Glory!)
I don't know why now ... I mean, I surely do not understand what is different about the last few weeks ... well, wait, I DO KNOW WHAT ... OK ... let me explain. I do not like exercise! I mean, I really DO NOT LIKE exercise. I could actually use the 4-letter "H" word that refers to having anaversion to and/or an intense dislike ... REALLY. My husband, on the other hand, LOVES exercise and would be perfectly happy to exercise often and heartily. YUCK!
A little more than fourteen years ago, I began to have terrible back pain, a burning like I've never felt before and throbbing, aching muscles around my knees. I underwent many medical tests and after testing negative for each, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia, ... hmmm ... The pain got so bad that I could hardly do more than just walk. It was (in my opinion) absolutely ridiculous; I was only 24 years old but I felt like I was much, much older. I was given multiple prescription drugs, which after the first couple of days I refused to take because they made me sick, and I was told this would never go away and I would have to learn to live with it.
I have tried exercise now and then over the years and I have had some successes, but in most cases, my body would suffer greater pain and discomfort from most types of increased physical activity. Therefore, I disliked exercise even more and did it less and less which caused me to be even less physically fit and my body to become weaker ... are you starting to get the point? It was kind of like a hamster running in his wheel and not ever going anywhere. Over the years, my husband and I have prayed about it, talked about it, challenged it and accepted it and though I've pushed myself past what I believed was my limit on numerous occasions, more often I have stopped myself due to the thoughts constantly parading in my mind "I can't do this" and "I don't want to hurt". A vicious cycle is what it has been.
Over the last year or so, I have been doing some soul-searching, I have been seeking God more deeply, I have tried to analyze certain aspects of my life and trying to improve upon those areas where I fall very short. While I've been "searching" and cleansing my mind and my thoughts, I have found that there is a link to the way that I treat my body. Now, I would not say that I have abused my body or mistreated my body in terrible ways and I don't think anyone else would either but stick with me here and I'll explain.
I LOVE sweets and treats! Truly, ... I would pick a handful of cookies over a piece of fruit any day. One could almost say I am addicted. I'm not really sure if it goes hand in hand with someone who has an addition to say, ... tobacco or alcohol or something like that ..., but I DO NOT LIKE to go without a sweet. So, in the recent months, during my "searching" and "cleansing" of the mind, I discovered and had to confess to myself that I might just regard my sweets (and my tea - sniff, sniff) higher than I regard my LORD and Savior. Is THAT possible? Dear friends, ... it really is! If one could find him or her "self" saying, "I'm not giving that up for ANYONE!", ... THAT is an addiction and an "enslavement" to that "thing".
Tea and sweets are something that I thoroughly enjoy, something that I count on for enjoyment and comfort ... it's wonderful to sit quietly sipping a lovely cup of hot tea and nibbling on some tasty bit of sweetness ... but I discovered that I was allowing THAT ACTIVITY to become my GOD, ... where I sought refuge, comfort, peace and renewed strength. In addition, my indulgences in said "comfort and peace" has caused me to pack on extra pounds that I do not wish to have ... another vicious cycle.
As 2009 came to a close, I was really at a point where I just knew I wanted to change. I spoke with the LORD, telling Him I don't want to be a slave to food and be enslaved to an immobile body ... (You are my GOD and You are all I NEED) so I planned to fast. Honestly, I've never really done this before. I've thought about it many times, I've heard about it and I've read a little bit about it. At first, I was going to fast from all unnatural foods but then quickly realized that my intent was really to prove to myself and to the LORD that He is my first "comfort and peace"; nothing comes before Him, everything in my life comes after Him. Tea and sweets are what I needed to fast so for the first few weeks of January that is what I did. It was SO DIFFICULT and I had to seek God constantly for strength and perseverance. When it became difficult and I thought I would give in to temptation, I prayed, asking God for strength. I searched the Bible for more direction and more insight and before long, I realized that God hadn't actually asked me to "fast"; He just wanted my focus to return to Him ~ He knows always, but sometimes I forget that when I remain focused on God, there is a peace in all things and my perspective is clearer.
The funny thing is, I was sure that during those weeks that I was fasting from honey-sweetened teas and numerous candy snacks and sugary treats, that extra pounds would just melt away effortlessly ... and do you know that I did NOT lose one single pound during that time??? Oh, the frustration at that realization. But let me tell you something ... dear ones, you've been patient and I am finally getting to the point ...
On the day that I decided that I would no longer fast from tea and sweets (and to celebrate its end, my dear, sweet husband was taking me to Panera for a Chai Tea Latte and sweet treat in the evening) I had a strange urge to run on my treadmill. I do not really know why I would "WANT" to do something like this but I thought, "I'll give it a shot and at the least I'll try to counter some of the calories I will consume later at Panera". Do you know what happened?
After one minute, I just wanted to get off! So, I prayed ... perhaps it was the LORD, Himself, prompting me to talk to Him ... to focus not on the discomfort but rather to draw strength from Him. I began to say the LORD's Prayer. I found that after saying "Amen", nearly a minute had gone by and so I'd say it again, thinking about each word as I prayed them, ... Amen and Amen. I was so overwhelmed that first day that I was in tears as my time on the treadmill came to an end. I was on my treadmill for thirty minutes doing a mix of fast-walking and jogging!!! I set myself a goal ... thirty minutes or 300 calories, whichever takes longer. And I did it!!!
So, the next day, I did it again! And the day after that, I did it again! Each time, I would pray and talk to God, saying the LORD's Prayer and adding another AMEN each time; then I began praying Scripture that I know to help the minutes go by and to pray to the LORD for strength and endurance. As the minutes would go by, while in prayer, I would watch the numbers change on the information panel of the treadmill. The panel displays distance, time elapsed and calories burned. Being the "numbers person" that I am, I would look at the numbers and talk to God about the numbers, ... one more minute, LORD, ... help me to reach the next whole number, ... I'm almost to the next mile, help me to keep going, ... I trust You, LORD, You are my strength ... and so I would push myself as the LORD allowed and each day I have met my goal and on more days I have exceeded my goal. One day last week, I was so "into it" that God spurred me to fifty minutes on my treadmill!!! Yesterday, I went for my "record" time/distance/calories of 60 minutes, 11 seconds!!!
To some, this might be strange ... to others, the fact that I'm making such a big deal might be cause for concern and to those who are physically fit on a regular basis, this whole post might be absurd ~ perhaps the only person who might truly understand what an amazing, awe-inspiring, miraculous fact this truly is would be my husband (and even then, he can't fully know) ~ BUT, GOD is allowing me something that I have not been able to attain until now. Each day when I go on the treadmill, I think about God, I pray to Him, I think about how awesome it is that He is allowing me to do this and I'm not struggling with pain, discomfort, breathing issues, muscles spasms, leg cramps, etc ... all things that have inhibited me before. My attitude has changed; my outlook is more positive ~ I feel REALLY GOOD! And guess what else? While I haven't given up tea and sweets, I am not craving it to pacify me or to provide me comfort and so I've had less of it (beloved Dennis and Maureen, this does not mean you should discontinue parcels of vital supplies). Amazingly, and to the glory of God, I am seeing physical results to my "prayer time on the treadmill", even though it's only been a few weeks.
There are some days that I think about skipping out but I don't want to take for granted what the LORD is granting me ... I want to take full advantage of it now and as long as it lasts; I don't want it to be taken away. And usually after I've been at it for a few minutes, the negative thoughts are gone and I know it's good to be where I am. The LORD is with me each day, as I talk with Him and pray, as I draw strength from Him ... my mind races with thoughts about my glorious God and the time passes by quickly and that in itself is a huge blessing!
It is only because of GOD that this is happening; it is only by His strength that I am achieving this success. I thank Him each day; I praise Him because He loves me even in the tiny details ~ in ways that some might be blind to or find completely insignificant ~ the LORD is with me. I cannot say it enough ... I have been given this gift by God; I could not do this before! I could not do this before! How great is my God? Truly indescribable!!!
A little more than fourteen years ago, I began to have terrible back pain, a burning like I've never felt before and throbbing, aching muscles around my knees. I underwent many medical tests and after testing negative for each, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia, ... hmmm ... The pain got so bad that I could hardly do more than just walk. It was (in my opinion) absolutely ridiculous; I was only 24 years old but I felt like I was much, much older. I was given multiple prescription drugs, which after the first couple of days I refused to take because they made me sick, and I was told this would never go away and I would have to learn to live with it.
The funny thing is, I was sure that during those weeks that I was fasting from honey-sweetened teas and numerous candy snacks and sugary treats, that extra pounds would just melt away effortlessly ... and do you know that I did NOT lose one single pound during that time??? Oh, the frustration at that realization. But let me tell you something ... dear ones, you've been patient and I am finally getting to the point ...
On the day that I decided that I would no longer fast from tea and sweets (and to celebrate its end, my dear, sweet husband was taking me to Panera for a Chai Tea Latte and sweet treat in the evening) I had a strange urge to run on my treadmill. I do not really know why I would "WANT" to do something like this but I thought, "I'll give it a shot and at the least I'll try to counter some of the calories I will consume later at Panera". Do you know what happened?
After one minute, I just wanted to get off! So, I prayed ... perhaps it was the LORD, Himself, prompting me to talk to Him ... to focus not on the discomfort but rather to draw strength from Him. I began to say the LORD's Prayer. I found that after saying "Amen", nearly a minute had gone by and so I'd say it again, thinking about each word as I prayed them, ... Amen and Amen. I was so overwhelmed that first day that I was in tears as my time on the treadmill came to an end. I was on my treadmill for thirty minutes doing a mix of fast-walking and jogging!!! I set myself a goal ... thirty minutes or 300 calories, whichever takes longer. And I did it!!!
It is only because of GOD that this is happening; it is only by His strength that I am achieving this success. I thank Him each day; I praise Him because He loves me even in the tiny details ~ in ways that some might be blind to or find completely insignificant ~ the LORD is with me. I cannot say it enough ... I have been given this gift by God; I could not do this before! I could not do this before! How great is my God? Truly indescribable!!!
So, ... what do you think you can't do??
Nothing is impossible with God ~ Luke 1:37
I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength ~ Philippians 4:13
I love you, O LORD, my strength ~ Psalm 18:1
Look to the LORD and his strength; seek his face always ~ 1 Chronicles 16:11
It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect ~ Psalm 18:32
























